so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
