Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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