fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
