wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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