He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
