I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
