I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
