matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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