i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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