My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
