HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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