the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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