He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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