I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
