Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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