I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
