you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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