just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize