Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
