he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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