I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
