hotel room ftw
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
