In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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