exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
