Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
