Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
