Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
