I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize