I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
