yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's get the cat blown out
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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