Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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