Hey man sorry I got all grabby
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
