this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
