and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
