I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
