Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
