Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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