I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
