you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
