YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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