maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
