he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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