she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
two words...techno handjob
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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