My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
