I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
