so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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