No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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