my room smells like sperm. sweet.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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