laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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