We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
