Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
