Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
