You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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