super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
