Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
