Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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