I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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