so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
