You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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