How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
