I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
