He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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