Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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