I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
