too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize