Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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