He is an equal opportunity slut.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
