I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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