I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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