Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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