i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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