I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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