my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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