In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
